Here For You
by tivaisseasonten
Summary: "We will face this together. I told you a year ago I was there for you, and I still am. Never gonna let you go"
1. Chapter 1

Tony wasn't sure what had happened, but in a matter of seconds his world had been flipped upside down.

He had woken up, expecting Ziva to be awake, but instead the silhouette of his girlfriend was fast asleep under his comforter, thank you dad for the new bed. Her snores were soft and her shoulders heaved along with her breathing. Her placed his hand on her forehead, she was alarmingly hot. He shook her awake, softly whispering her name into her ear over and over again, her eyes fluttered open and she yawned softly.

"Do you feel...?" Tony was cut off by her loud groan.

"Here sweetheart." He slid his pillow under her feet.

"Tony your gonna be late for...ahhh" she doubled over in pain again.

"Work I know. But you need rest, the nasty stomach bugs going around." He patted her softly, pressing a kiss to her temple. He got up, pacing into his kitchen and removing a bag of ice from the fridge. He heated up a can of soup, and walked back into the bedroom.

"Eat." He instructed.

"Tony I am not hungry."

"Eat."

"No!"

"Maybe I should stay home with you." He whispered into her ear.

"No tony go to work."

"But you're sick."

"Gibbs doesn't even know we're together, no suspicion."

"Ziva.."

"Tony," she pointed at the door "go to work, I will be just fine."

"Promise me you'll eat?"

"If that makes you feel better then yes, yes I will eat."

Tony reluctantly tucked her in, placing a few wet towels for her face by her night stand. He handed her the soup, pressed a quick kiss to her lips and slowly backed out the door.

He rolled into work 10 minutes late.

"Ziva called, said she wasn't feeling good." He explained as he walked in, putting his stuff on his desk and sending her a quick text reminding her to eat and drink plenty of water. He slid into his seat.

"So what's the case?" His voice clear as Gibbs rolled in.

"Dead Naval Inspector."

Tony grabbed his stuff and followed behind his boss.

They arrived at the crime scene a short while later and Tony began to bag and tag. As they started to inspect the area, a red car came roaring through the lawn of the park. Tony quickly pushed Gibbs out of the way, glad he'd made Ziva stay home as the car came running at him. Then came the job, he quickly pulled the evidence he'd collected and chucked it towards McGee. McGee tried with no avail to get Tony to come before the car plowed into him. Gibbs immediately dialed 911 as he ran over to check that his senior agent was still alive. Tony's breath was hitched as he fought to talk.

"Call Ziva." It's a choaked phrase but Gibbs does as his Agent says, but no one answers. He tries Ziva's home phone too as the ambulance arrives.

"Try my number." It's tony again and the paramedics are shushing him as he tries to help his boss.

"I'll yell at you later." Gibbs counters as he dialed Tonys home number. No one answers.

*meanwhile*

Ziva woke up hazily in a white room, beeping machines surrounding her

*flashback*

Ziva looked down, a pool of blood surrounding her, she barely had enough time to call 911 before she passed out.

*end flashback*

Frantically she looked around, surely someone was here to tell her exactly what was going on. A young woman walks in her head bowed. She slid onto the due of Zivas hospital bed, and Ziva knows. She just knows. The woman patted her sympathetically as Zivas soft sobs echoed through the room.

"Can I call Tony?" She sniffed trying to regain composure.

"Would you like me to answer questions first?" The woman asks and Ziva nodded solemnly.

"Can I even have children?" It's her soft scared tone that causes the female doctor to fill a pang of sadness.

"We don't know went wrong, we reviewed you and, the DNA match, 's"

She's cut off.

"Special Agent DiNozzo."

"Special Agent DiNozzo's family history and there did not seem to be any problems we believe the miscarriage was a direct, and sole result of the physical amuse you endured while in." The woman checked her file "Somalia."

"How far along?" It's a whisper.

"2 months, give or take."

"Do they know the gender." Her tears have welled back up in her eyes now.

"Given history, it would've most likely been a girl, brown hair green eyes." And the sobs start again, Ziva tried to regain composure, reaching for her phone and dialing his number, sobs still echoing through the room.

There is no answer and she panics.

She try's his desk phone. No answer.

In her last resort she dials Gibbs, there's a gruff answer.

"Gibbs."

"Can I talk to Tony?"

"Ziver."

"Let me talk to Tony please." She's barely holding it together.

"He's in surgery Ziva."

"Surgery!" Ziva shrieked

"He was hit by a car."

"Oh my god..." She's starting to cry now.

"Let me come to you, you still at Tonys?"

"No, I'm in room 126 of ICU." She whispered.

"I'm coming to you." He repeats and he starts to hurriedly walk towards her room.

"Are you ?" The peppy nurse asked as he approached the room.

"No Special Agent Tony DiNozzo is in surgery. I'm Agent Gibbs, she's expecting me."

"Ok, well we can brief you on what happened."

"Ok."

" ."

"Agent David." Gibbs interjected.

"Agent David suffered a miscarriage as a result of the physical harm she endured in Somalia. Her chances at conceiving a child are in the 50% range. She was about 2 months along."

Gibbs hushed, silently worrying for his surrogate daughter.

"You can see her sir. She's most worried about Agent DiNozzo."

"Thank you." And Gibbs and worming his way past the doctor into her room. He sat at he bedside and rubbed her shoulder.

"It's gonna be ok Ziver." And Ziva sobbed into his shoulder.

"What happened to Tony?" It's a shaky question.

"He was hit by a car at the scene, but the dumbass managed to save all the evidence and..."

"And what?"

"And me. He pushed me out of the way." And Zva is crying harder.

"It's just some broken bones Ziva."

"He's in surgery!"

"He's a fighter he'll be ok. The doc said he should rest up for a month or two. Maybe you two could take some medical leave." Ziva nods.

"Can I talk to him?"

"Lemme call McGee." And Gibbs dialed the number.

"McGee. Is tony awake?"

"Yah boss."

"His girlfriend wants to talk to him."

"Girlfriend?"

"Gimme the phone McIdoit." He can hear Tony say In The background.

"Hey Ziva." He softly said as e ears her pained sobs."Zi, baby it's gonna be ok, I'm fine. Just relax. There's movies for you to watch if you want."

"I'm here." She whispers.

"Here? Well then come on in." He's completely oblivious.

"No tony, I'm down the hall, in ICU."

"Oh my god, Ziva are you ok?"

"I'm sorry." She sobbing and he's trying to calm her down.

"Ziva, sweet heart, tell me what's wrong."

"I...I.. I was pregnant."

"Was?" It's his scared answer.

"Yes, I ..." And she's taken over by tears again.

"Honey it's gonna be ok, I promise. You know I love you, and I'd still love you even if you couldn't have kids, don't even think for one second that us losing our child changes the way I feel about you."

"I know." She's whispering, soft sobs still clogging her throat.

"We can have kids later on, we can always try again." He doesn't know if he's reassuring her or himself.

"It's all my fault."

"Ziva, damnit it is not your fault."

"I shouldn't have left for Isreal."

"I shouldn't have let you go, this is just as much my fault as it is yours understand? We will face this together. I told you a year ago I was there for you, and I still am. Never gonna let you go. Now get some rest."

"Ok." She whispers, closing her phone and trying to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

It's an hour later that the reality hits Tony, he was supposed to be a father. He was supposed to be able to have a family with the woman he loved, fill the house up with kids. He was supposed to have held a tiny baby in his hands and have it been all his and hers to love. He was supposed to do all these things. He tried to tell himself, as he lay there, his right leg in a toe to hip cast, that they could always have more children, that just because they lost one doesn't mean they'd lose them all. He knows he needs to be strong. For her. He knows how much she had wanted the all American life, a white picket fence and kids playing in the yard. Her sobs are still playing in his head when Gibbs comes in an hour later.

"How you feeling DiNozzo?" Gibbs asks, and he knows its a stupid question.

"Well lets see, I broke my leg then found out that my girlfriend and I were supposed to be parents."

"Tony, you need to be strong." It's Gibbs, his face stone.

"What'd the doctor say? You know about Zi?"

"She only has a 50% chance of conceiving a child."

Tony resisted the urge to punch the wall.

"Why? Why would they take everything from her, she only wants to be happy Gibbs, is that a crime." Tony tightened his jaw.

"It isn't fair. But DiNozzo, she needs someone strong to hold onto."

"What if I'm not strong enough, am I just supposed to be at peace with the fact we lost our kid Gibbs? Am I supposed to act like it doesn't hurt!" Tony raised his voice.

"Then maybe she needs someone to cry with."

"Can I see her?"

"I have to ask the doctor."

"This is my girlfriend were talking about here Gibbs, I'm not gonna let some 25 year old college grad tell me who I can and can't see." Tony took the crutches from the bedside, familiar with them from his college days.

"126" Gibbs calls after him. And tony hobbled to her room, opening the door as he leant on the door frame.

"Ziva." He whispered as he came in, and she turns toward him,eyes red from crying.

"Oh my god Tony." She referring to the fact that his right leg is in case in a navy plaster from the his toes to his hip.

"I'm ok Ziva, I'll be ok." He reassured her, he's sitting on her bedside in no time, and she wrapped into him, sobbing. Her head is lodged is his chest as he stroked her hair. Kissing it softly.

"It's gonna be alright Ziva."

"I'm sorry." She crys again and he rubs her back.

"Look at me Ziva." She ducked down.

"Zi, please look at me." She meets his eyes, his arm still wrapped around her, pulling her into him.

"This is not your fault, so stop apologizing. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for the good the bad and the ugly do you understand me?"

"I love you." She whispered as she sank back into his embrace.

"I love you too." And their kissing. Lips meeting ever so softly as the sit in the middle of the bed. She's snuggled into his left side a few minutes later when she looks up at him.

"It was a girl." And she can see the tears in his eyes as he pulls her closer.

"She would have been beautiful. Just like you.." He whispers.

"And a sense of humor like her father, maybe even a love of movies."

"Or she could have been a ninja, like her mother."

"Or a gun buff like her father."

"Or a dancer like her mother."

"Or a singer like her aunt." And they fall asleep listing off what could have been. When she wakes up it hits her all over again and she crys painfully into the emptiness, feeling the strong grip of Tony's left arm holding her into him.

"Shh baby. It's gonna be alright."

It's a few days later when their cleared to return home. He hasn't left her side either, insisting he would rather be with her then with a doctor.

SHe's soft first, he's helping her into bed, making her breakfast, on one leg. But soon she become restless and he decides she should return to work. Sex is hard, with his cast but they find certain positions that do not aggravate it. When she goes to work he watches movies and does paper work that Gibbs sent to him. They don't talk about losing her a lot, but when they do, there's enough tears to fill an ocean. It's a month later when he plans his surprise. He wakes up one morning, hobbling to the kitchen to make her breakfast before she wakes up. He fills her cup with coffee. And places the box under a heap of berries. He brings it to her, limping slightly and sets it on her lap, her kisses taste like raspberries and when he leaves so she can find the box, the amount of silence that fills his room is scary. He pokes his head in 2 minutes later and she's sitting there with an open box on her lap.

"Couldn't exactly get down on one knee." He explains, her smile genuine. He leaves his crutches at the door. Coming to sit next to her.

"But I figured it didn't matter as long as the outcome was the same."

She nods.

"Ziva David will you marry me?" And she's crying,

"Yes." She whispered as he slid the ring onto her finger.

"Now go to work, Gibbs is expecting you." And she rolled her eyes as she left kissing him one last time before driving away. He watched his fiancé drive down the drive way and he's liked with warmth. They might have lost a kid, but they didn't lose them.

It's three months later when she drops him off at the doctor on her way to work so he can get the cast off, and he swears he doesn't want to face Gibbs wrath when he returns the following week. His physical therapy gets him back on top, he can still out run McGee, a fact he brags about endlessly and he can still smile his way out of any situation. It's that same afternoon she looks at the stick in her hand and just about faints. Theres a pink plus looking back at her. The ring on her hand still gleams as brightly as it did the first day she wore it, and the office gossip has picked up now that he's coming back to work. Her first thought is to tell Gibbs, he is right upstairs after all. So she does.

"Gibbs, I uh have something to tell you."

"You're pregnant." He deadpans and smiles up a her "congrats. Does the baby's daddy know?"

"Not yet."

"Ziva, why are you worried."

"What if I lose it again Gibbs?"

"Tony will still love you."

She picks him up after work and they go to a Italian place, because he is very happy he can walk without metal, and is ecstatic that he gets to go back to work next week. She's smiling and eating, and when he offers wine she politely declines and he looks at her, before his mouth falls into an O shape.

"No way!" His smile is huge.

"I'm pregnant." She answers. And he picks her up and twirls her around.

When he returns to work, they decide to tell everyone. Abby shrieks and hugs both of them, McGee high fives Tony and gives Ziva a big hug. Gibbs head slaps them both before offering his congrats, Ducky smiles and hugs them both. Vance looks at the newly happy pair in front of his desk, when Ziva asks for leave, or more so Tony asks for her, it's immediately granted. Office gossip spreads quickly and people are offering hugs and their congratulations. But Tony is worried, he doesn't know if Ziva could go through what she went through again.

He or Gibbs never told her the part about 50% and Tonys worried if she makes it to full she won't live. His mind focuses as shushing the people, and he's worried for her sake. He insists she stay home the full nine months. And though she's against it, he buys a wheelchair and makes sure she doesn't walk anywhere or leave the bed. She doesn't like it but when she makes it to a month shes quite happy. That's when the doctor tells tony.

"Are you her?"

"Fiancé, yes."

"I'm sure you've been informed of the 50% chance mortality rate."

"Is there a problem?"

"Well she made it to a month so we reran her new tests. There's only a 25% chance this baby survives."

And tony breaks down, crouching onto the floor, hands on his head.

"She doesn't know?" It's the doctor again and tony looks up at him.

"You think I'm gonna tell my fiancé who's been through hell and back that there's only a twenty five percent chance her child, our child, survives." Tony shouts, happy that Ziva is not in the room.

"It was a good sign that she even got pregnant, we can only hope for the best."

And tony turns and walks away. He dials Gibbs.

"Gibbs. They decreased its chances to 25%"

Stunned silence on the other side.

"Should I tell her?"

"I think she should know."

"Thanks Boss." And tony reluctantly turned toward her door.

"Ziva." He says into the room and she smiles up at him.

"Yes?"

"I need to tell you something."

"You're not dying are you?"

"No. You know how I've been super careful with you?"

"Too much so."

"It's because what they told Gibbs and I last time."

"And what was that?" She asked panicking.

"Well they told us you only had a 50% of carrying a baby to full term."

"50?" She asked softly, scared out of her mind as tony rubbed her hand.

"That was the. Doctor Rosen just told me something though."

"What!"

"You have to promise to not lose hope."

"Tony spit it out."

"They decreased it to 25%"

He was answered by stunned sobs, he's holding her tight kissing her softly whispering reassuring things into her hair. He helps her into her wheelchair. And the pair leave. Sad.


	3. Chapter 3

It was 7 months in when Tony decided,after a few close calls, that Ziva should stay in the hospital ward. When they went for check ups they met some women who had high risk pregnancies who stayed at the birth ward. Ziva had been placed on leave, and Tony went to work then raced home as fast as he could every day. One night they went in for their regular appointment,

The doctor came in, somberly.

"Can i ask you some questions?" It's the doctor and his voice which Tony has grown to despise.

"Shoot." Tony says and Ziva snuggles closer into his side.

"Um..ok number one, do we have permission to perform a Csection if the situation calls for it?"

Tony looked at Ziva. "That's your call."

"Yes, I would be alright with that.

"Ok number two, and I know you two may need to discuss this further but we like to know ahead of time."

"Spit it out." Tony snaps and Ziva gives him a look.

"If it came down to it, and we can only save one life, would you rather mother or child?"

"Mother" Tony says as Ziva replies "Child"

"I see you two need to discuss this." The doctor stood up and left the room.

Tony turned to his fiancé, "There is no way in hell I'm losing you because of an unborn child."

"Tony, I may not be able to have kids, bring an able body into the world."

"No. And that's final. If you can't have kids, so be it, but I'm not losing you." He replied decisively.

Ziva sulked but eventually gave in.

The doctor nodded as Tony told him the ruling.

Ziva made quite a few friends during her stay, there was Lissy and Martha and Jen. The four would meet for breakfast in the Hospital Cafe. The other women were floored by how often Tony was with her. Often complaining to their boyfriends and husbands about the lack of attention. They didn't know quite why though, it came up one day in conversation when Lissy mentioned her sisters miscarriage. The darkness that cast over Ziva's face did not go unnoticed. It was then they learned of the dark miscarriage that Ziva had been through. And the attentiveness of her fiancé was clearer.

"How come you can't come as much as Tony?" It's Martha as her husband sat next to her in big overstuffed chairs.

"I have this thing called a job Mar."

"He works for the government, and he still shows up every night."

"He doesn't have taxes to file."

"He has murders to solve." She retorted, and as if by magic the pair strolled by the window. It was dark but warm outside and Tony had insisted they take a walk outside. Ziva eager to use her feet had agreed. There's the kiss they share right outside the window. And the fact that if she wasn't pregnant he probably would have had sex with her right there. Martha pointed at the pair and her husband sighed.

"Not all of us can be the great Tony DiNozzo."

"DiNozzo?"

"Yeah Mar that's his name."

"Holy shit."

"What?"

"He went to OSU."

"So did you."

"He was with a different girl each day,I remember because he was the starter on the basketball team I cheered for, holy shit he's changed."

"Yeah, into a one lady type of guy."

"Hmmm, kiss your wife ass hole." And he did as he was told.

It was the last month when things got intense. Tony took some time off work towards the latter half, after one too many scares. He didn't know what to expect. It was a girl, they learned and Ziva started crying when she was told. He had a name in mind, one he would not tell her until the birth. That's when Senior decided to call, he called Zivas cell, knowing his son would not answer his calls.

"Hi! Tony's not here, he's at work." Ziva said as she flipped it open.

"Here?"

"Hospital, though he should answer his phone."

"Why are you in the hospital."

"I am approaching nine months...wait Tony did not inform you?"

"Inform me of what?!"

"He and I are engaged."

"Oh Ziva this is wonderful! Such a great addition!"

"But that is not all."

"Continue."

"We, well I lost our first child, through some uh complications, that is why I am here as we approach my nine months on the second."

"Ziva, I am so sorry. Why didn't Tony tell me?"

"It was private for him,not to be advertised. We are only hoping for the best here. There are no guarantees."

"In that case Ziva, welcome to the Family." And she hung up with a smile.

It was two weeks early, this could not, should not be happening. Contractions rolled in her stomach as she pressed the red panic button over and over. The doctors rushed in, surprised by the early labor but still starting to perform the procedures. Something's missing yet she cannot put her finger on it. Oh yes where is Tony? He was due her an hour a go and she's starting to worry he'll miss his only chance at seeing his child born. It's three hours in and she's refusing to go further until Tony shows up. As if on cue Tony comes racing in.

"I came as fast as I could, big kidnapping case sorry Hun."

"Hand now." She demands and he gives her the hand he is less fond of, being his left had.

She pushing and screaming and he hears it, a tiny cry. But that's all. A

L of a sudden bloods rushing out and doctors are running in. Tony is pushed out, wondering what the hell went wrong. He sees them take his daughter to the emergency ward and he has to sit down to calm his nerves. He can here the calls of "the mothers unresponsive." Ringing through the hospital room. And he wonders if he lost both of them. It's an hour later when a doctor comes out. It's a new doctor, female and younger. She looks at him kindly and asks him to please sit does as he's told.

"Agent DiNozzo, we have good news and bad news."

His face stiffens.

"Your fiancé is alive."

"And the little girl?"

"It is too early to know, we do believe she will be alright however we cannot make any promises."

"Can I see Ziva?"

The women shakes her head no, " sir your fiancé , Ziva, is in surgery as we speak."

And he grows quiet.

"What happened?"

"Well we are forced to remove some damaged equipment so to speak."

"So she can't have kids, like ever?"

"Not ever. It's only partial, she would be more apt to a tough pregnancy. Tougher then this one."

"She doesn't deserve this."

"She does however deserve you. You can probably see her in an hour."

"Can I ask a question doc?"

"Sure."

"Will she ever be able to hold her daughter, that's all she wants you know."

"I just can't say, your daughter was born with a very low heart pace, so we are trying everything we can to keep her alive."

She sees tears in the mans eyes.


End file.
